Wednesday, September 20, 2006

 

Rants

There a couple here so, I'll divide them out.


1. Pregancy rant
I've just started reading Pregnancy Sucks (which mine doesn't, so far) as recommended by Sherrie. And Sherrie, you're right, the advice is better than What to Expect. Anyway, there's a section about when to tell people about the pregnancy. The author's advice is don't tell till the second trimester because there's greater chance of miscarriage during the first. It's not the first time I've heard this advice. When we told an old friend of B.'s (who's had three children herself), her response was that we shouldn't be telling people this early.

Maybe it's the hormones, but it hacks me off a little. I'm excited about this baby, and I want everyone to know. And I certainly don't want to spend the next two months waiting for something bad not to happen so we can finally tell people. And if something bad does happen I'd rather go through it with the support of my friends and family.

So, I guess my point is, the correct response to a woman telling you she's five weeks pregnant is, "Wow, that's great! Congratulations, I hope everything goes well for you."

2. Commercial Rant
So, I'm home alone all day and feeling tired and lazy, so I watch a lot of TV. I've been seeing this Gap commercial for the skinny black pant. What the hell! Don't these people know that the skinny black pant only looked good only Leslie Caron and Audrey Hepburn. Normal people can't wear these things.

In other news, happy birthday to B., who's 38 today.

And I talked to my mother over the weekend while they were visiting my cousins in northwest Iowa. Now, my cousin has a sixth-month-old granddaughter, so they went out shopping together .... Suffice it to say yia yia says she bought a few things for Baby Barsanouphios or Agrippina. I knew it wouldn't take long.

Comments:
In response to all the hype over skinny pants, I purchased boot-cut pants to replace the boot-cut pants I've worn out in the last few years. And I'm staying away from leggings. If stirrup pants come back (shudder), I'll stay away from them, too.

(The Gap ad is awful. I love that dance sequence from "Funny Face." No one should mess with it, let alone set it to "Back in Black." Ads like that are yet another reason why I've basically stopped watching TV.)

As for the pregnancy rant, right on! It's happy news, and you have every right to be happy and share your happiness with others. :)
 
I don't understand when old fashion trends come back. Those pants only look good on very thin petite women. Put them on someone with long legs, and something is lost in the translation. Put them on someone like me, well...we don't even want to go there.

I think this whole "don't tell" thing must be a new trend. I definitely shared the news. And, as you said, it's much better IF something does happen that you have the support of friends and family. We're all happy, you told.

Hey, I'm buying lots of stuff for the FOURTH grandchild that's coming in November. R. (B's wife) doesn't really know any females there -- she works as a geologist with a bunch of men. So it's likely no one is throwing a shower etc for her, so we're doing a "mail - shower" and coordinating the arrival of all gifts.

Speaking of baby showers, we MUST start planning a weekend in Iowa for the gathering. What do ya'll think?
 
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
 
As someone who has had five miscarriages, there's a very good reason we didn't tell anyone until the fourth or fifth month.

It's painful. You get so excited. It's something you want, and then it is yanked away.

No offense meant, but I just didn't want to talk about it any longer. My friends, those who knew, or heard about it, they try to console, and be understanding, but to me at least, it grated.

I'm sure some of it had to be hormones, but everyone reacts to grief differently. My reaction was to keep it close to immediate family, but not spread it around. I couldn't take the sympathy. It made it worse.

Years of infertility, years of miscarriages, at a point, you just don't want to talk about it. And it is heartbreaking to get all excited, and then have it yanked away from you. Repeatedly, in my case.

Listen to the lyrics in the Dixie Chicks' song "So Hard," which is about infertility. It's painful to watch others get pregnant, stay pregnant, while you can't do this one simple little thing. As a woman, it's frustrating, heartbreaking, and really makes you question your whole purpose. Secondary infertility, in our case, was worse, because we'd managed it once, and we just couldn't get anywhere for five freakin' years.

Pregnancy was never a joyful experience for me: the fear of the first trimester, the nine months of constant barfing and no energy. I don't envy those who do have easy pregnancies, but don't scoff until you've walked a mile in the shoes.
 
Don't listen to the people who tell you not to tell. I got the same advice, and while I understand why (especially for women who have miscarried before), it's an individual choice. I can't keep a secret anyway :) when I'm excited. I told everyone the second I got that positive pregnancy test (It took 6 attempts before I figured out how to use the blasted thing, though).

Be prepared for the people who are going to dole out an insane amount of unasked-for advice. ::sigh::
 
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