The Knittin' Kitten

Yesterday, I woke to spotting. I called the doctor's office, and they told me to come in that morning for an ultrasound and so they could check me out.

During the ultrasound, the technician couldn't see the baby in my uterus. The most horrible part was that she turned the monitor screen around so that I could see. For some reason, the baby stopped growing at about seven or eight weeks, and there was just nothing there. After consulting with the midwife on call and one of the OBs, I was scheduled for a D&C this morning.

I held it together long enough to get to the car, at which point I completely lost it. I must have sat there wailing for at least five or ten minutes. Then I drove home, called B. and my mom - neither of whom were answering their phones. B. called back about five minutes later and all I managed to get out was, "I lost the baby," before he said, "I'll be right home, hang on."

So, he came home and I cried all afternoon till I finally went to sleep. My mother called about 5:30, which of course started the crying all over again. She told me she would call my dad and asked if I wanted them to come up. I said there wasn't much they could do. She called back about 7 to say that dad had taken off work, they were packing and on their way.

They stayed in Des Moines last night, and managed to get to Ames before I went into surgery this morning. It was no great feat really. I was supposed to check in at 8:30, they didn't wheel me into the prep room until noon. I was one VERY grumpy, hungry patient by then. The worst thing was that I just wanted it all to be over.

When my mom came in she just took me in her arms and let me cry. I have to say it felt really good. Sometimes a girl, even a grown up married one, just wants her mommy.

I was done and out of the hospital by 3 this afternoon. I'm physically fine at this point, just emotionally pretty rattled. I would appreciate it if everyone left the sympathy comments here on the blog. I don't think I can handle e-mails or phone calls at this point.

Thanks